The sadness has stopped....

So finally I feel the sadness has stopped. I feel at peace. Don’t get me wrong, I miss being pregnant and I miss my baby, but it’s not all the time and it’s not dark. I struggled to smile, to see a future, now I can. 

I’m not sure if it’s because the puppy arrives in 10 days and I can focus my maternal love on him, or if my hormones have rebalanced, or if it’s because we did all we could this month, or if time is just a great healer. But whatever the reason I smile again now and mean it, I think of other things, I’m excited about the future, and the puppy and the holiday and all the things I was dreading before. And I know it WILL happen. I will get my rainbow baby. I WILL hold it in my arms and I know that it WILL be soon. 

So to all of those out there who have been through this or are going through an mc, it DOES get easier. I promise. It may seem like it won’t, it may seem like there’s no point in getting out of bed, but it does slowly get better and for me it was one day. I went to sleep having had a massive meltdown and a cry and I woke up to the cloud having lifted. I hope for all of you this day comes for you too.