Waiting

As i said. Pregnancy is should be called the waiting game.. the art of waiting.

You wait for your period to end, you wait for a positive opk, you wait for the temp spike, you have the Two Week Wait, you test, you wait for it to develop, you wait for your period again. And if you manage to catch that month. You wait for sickness, or symptoms, you wait for your scan, you wait for the first kick, for the first movement, you wait for the bump to show, to grow, you wait for labour to start, you wait to meet your baby. 

Or... if in my case.... you wait for symptoms, you wait for the early scan, you realise you've lost it. Then you wait for a follow up scan, you wait for it to sink in, you wait for it to be over, you wait for the crying to stop, you wait to feel normal again, you wait to feel less empty, you wait for the pregnancy test to turn negative again so that you can try again, you wait for your life to start again. 

And when the bleeding stops, and the pregnancy test is negative you're back to waiting. Waiting for fertile week, ovulation, the dreaded TWW and then testing again... a vicious cycle.

And each month you're hit with a negative and AF, you don't think you can drop any lower, but you do, and all that excitement built up during the month where you think you've definitely DTD enough, and you feel good.... like a tidal wave, comes crashing down as your period shows up and proves you wrong.