MMC Options

So after the total shock of the private scan i went into total robot mode. My other half was amazing. He took charge and organised doctors appointments and took the week off work and organised food (not that i could eat) and made me a coffee (that i hadn't had in two months) and got me in the shower and dressed. I was referred to EPU and so off we headed to Kingston Hospital and spent the day there.
The staff were amazing. I cannot give enough credit to the NHS in this situation. We are so lucky to have this health care. I was rescanned and discussed options.

Option 1: wait and see what happens, leave it a week or so and come back for another scan. If nothing happens after a week option 2 and 3 become and option.

Option 2: medical management. Take a pill to bring on the miscarriage. You have to pass the baby and the sac and all the tissue, like an early labour.

Option 3: Surgical management. Its called an ERPC. They basically use a vacuum to remove all of the baby, sac, tissue and lining from the uterus.

I opted for option 3. I'd had two scans by now that both confirmed no heartbeat, and i was off on holiday at the end of the week. My body had had 2 weeks to recognise that the baby had died, and it hadn't naturally expelled it. I thought it would allow me to move on the quickest.

All i could think about is becoming pregnant again. The thought of being without a baby in me was heartbreaking.

So i was booked in for the following day. It was a weird scenario. i was numb, and could laugh and joke and pretend it wasn't happening. The reality of it hadn't sunk in.

The operation was very quick and easy and only took around 20 mins. I was put under general anaesthetic and was back on the ward without even knowing what was happening.

When i first stood up, to go to the loo, i had a huge gush of blood, and was so panicked that it wouldn't stop. It did. And actually thats about all i had. Id stocked up on mega sanitary towels and pain killers. I needed a couple of pain killers in the following days, but hardly bled at all. Physically, i was healed rather quickly. Emotionally it was a different story.

I was a total mess. I'd taken the week off work, and found myself just crying all the time, ever time i had a moment alone, in the shower, late at night, making a cup of tea. And i could be totally fine and then just cry, out of no where. I was not prepared for the emotional turmoil. My hormones were all over the place. My poor other half had ever outburst you could imagine.

BUT.... it does get better. over time. It took about a month for my hormones to level out and for me to start feeling normal again.