I never realised until i lost a baby just how sensitive certain topics can be. I remember asking a very good couple friend of mine... 'you guys have been married for ages when are you gonna have a baby' to which they always replied....'maybe in a year or so... work is really busy'. The truth was they've been trying for two years. They're now expecting a baby in a couple of weeks. But its something that maybe just isn't considered. As great friends of mine, i NEVER even considered the fact that they were struggling to conceive.
But you learn from your mistakes.... so please think twice before saying:
When are you going to have a baby?
Are you going to have more?
Gosh the age gaps getting bigger...
You guys have been married for ages?
Tick tick tick... you've not got much time left!!
Any babies on the horizon?
I thought you always wanted kids... didn't you?
No kids yet?
Its your turn... Come on...
Jump on the bandwagon....
These are just some of the things that have been said to me or i've heard.... THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.... and remember not everyone has an easy ride!
Things not to say when someone's just lost a pregnancy.....
It just wasn't meant to be
Better to have lost it early
You'll get pregnant again
You can just make another one
Maybe that one wasn't a good one
You'll get over it
At least you know you can conceive
Generally don't say anything... a simple 'Im so sorry for your loss' is all thats needed. These are just some of the things said to me by people. That i find myself repeating just to make people feel better about finding out. But you don't always have to say something.... sometimes just listening is enough.
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